The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, visit values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar