The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded from this source with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urbane areas, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay males desire to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

However, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry description is crucial. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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