The Sexuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great also).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and wellness .

When issues occur, those who fall into visit the site the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. Numerous gay males wish to learn from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To sites avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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